no where but up there

rant and rage against
the machinations of this shit
you come into it all blurry eyed

you tire easily
but you have unlimited powers
you know it all and you're getting yours

there is hope and fear
there is love and pain
your skin is alive
your body on fire

swimming in the deep end
move or drown
never push your own self down

tired of this

have one
have another
it feels good not to feel anything

relax you've had a hard day
you say this every day
it hard to make it last longer than
the last fight where guts were spilled

you start from the bottom every time
you kick yourself down with the doubt
small ambition lack meditation

others kicking your ass back down
pushing you down
keeping your doubts in the foreground
seeping into your dreams
keeping you awake at night

there was enough love
so much love that is was ridicules
so obvious no one paid attention
you didn't have to buy it
just buy into it
that was the problem
there were too many options
paralyzed with options
frozen in the frozen food aisle

keep moving
you might be making circle
after circle
after circle
after circle
one repeating the tread-marks of the next
so Strava looks like a loop
marked over and over again
on somewhat the same circle
circle
after
circle
until the dizziness takes over and
you fall asleep.

sinister samurai

little sister
listen to reason
you're right and im left out

keep me in the past
forget the rest
the bubble keeps me safest

invade the private
obey your master
we will help you dream it

peal the layers back
down in there there is only
one thing left

circle the wagons
spread the fear
the new Indians are here

she's waiting anger
starting fire
burn our house down

no one survives children
there is no place left
empty burned down ruins

where is your space
that place where there is air
lungs expand

excuses and excesses
no room left
they're here
sanitarium