lift yourself up
positive vibrations
moving in directions

size yourself up
does your size measure up
zip yourself down

imagine a place
where there is no race
no color no nationalist front

stopped in time you recheck your mind
in the spaces in between it moves
lines in between

inside the body there is
a force so strong
your body and soul won't belong to
you anymore

there are doors open and
seen there are
doors never to be seen

fantasy and dream
donuts filled with kryptonite
sweet dreams

Alternate Universe

i started to watch is youtubeER young Scottish U23 national elite
and there it was, i've had to be off the bike now for nearly 2 weeks due to a
persistent sports injury from last summer, it just won't get better and I'm giving it
time off.  i am not however, giving it the appropriate attention it deserves.
i still have a half hour massage unused and perhaps one more chiro session prepaid.
this week was crazy as it drew to a close with the pending vacation DRIVE to PA.

so without the bicycle to touch sanity I've found myself alarmingly content to follow this Scottish
cyclist whose name is Cameron Mason.  nice lad from what his youtube video blog has shown.
great support from his father who is assuredly his driver, pit crew, $ and certainly much more to the vlog that has me so contented with my own 3 week retirement from cycling.  maybe this injury is just as much a byproduct of the cycling accident which followed on the heels of the bicycle accident on Fiesta Island the week prior.  much referenced FI incident crystal meth driver wrong way on a 1 way.
so the scream made this primordial reaction of grabbing the new v-brake installed on the old cyclocross steed and face (shoulder) planting in the dirt while the source of said scream resulted in
2 joggers who passed me face down in dirt thinking wtf is wrong with these overreactive doomsday
havoc wreckers on my trail...

Cameron's name reminds me of the only Cameron I think i know Cameron Falconer who 

makes great bicycles in San Francisco.  a great friend as i know hime.  this scottish guy i will now 

follow and ride bicycles through his conduit and make his word my own so that i will no longer ride the bicycle but watch others do the hard work whistle i grow larger and drink more delicious beer.

no where but up there

rant and rage against
the machinations of this shit
you come into it all blurry eyed

you tire easily
but you have unlimited powers
you know it all and you're getting yours

there is hope and fear
there is love and pain
your skin is alive
your body on fire

swimming in the deep end
move or drown
never push your own self down

tired of this

have one
have another
it feels good not to feel anything

relax you've had a hard day
you say this every day
it hard to make it last longer than
the last fight where guts were spilled

you start from the bottom every time
you kick yourself down with the doubt
small ambition lack meditation

others kicking your ass back down
pushing you down
keeping your doubts in the foreground
seeping into your dreams
keeping you awake at night

there was enough love
so much love that is was ridicules
so obvious no one paid attention
you didn't have to buy it
just buy into it
that was the problem
there were too many options
paralyzed with options
frozen in the frozen food aisle

keep moving
you might be making circle
after circle
after circle
after circle
one repeating the tread-marks of the next
so Strava looks like a loop
marked over and over again
on somewhat the same circle
circle
after
circle
until the dizziness takes over and
you fall asleep.

sinister samurai

little sister
listen to reason
you're right and im left out

keep me in the past
forget the rest
the bubble keeps me safest

invade the private
obey your master
we will help you dream it

peal the layers back
down in there there is only
one thing left

circle the wagons
spread the fear
the new Indians are here

she's waiting anger
starting fire
burn our house down

no one survives children
there is no place left
empty burned down ruins

where is your space
that place where there is air
lungs expand

excuses and excesses
no room left
they're here
sanitarium

destination

never so low
new hi in lows

there was this picture i was imaging
it showed a place i want to be

the spot is bright
the spot is without light

this place
is
waiting for me

Godot has not yet arrived
there is still time or
will he not come?

somewhere in the distance
a young voice calls out
over there a response

so tense
where did you go
never so slow

i am abandoned
alone i stand
only a man